Release Blitz + Excerpt & Giveaway: Fallen Crest University by Tijan

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Fallen Crest University by Tijan

Fallen Crest University by Tijan
Series: Fallen Crest #5 (full reading order below)
Publication Date: August 25th 2015
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Fallen Crest is back with a vengeance!

Samantha, Mason, and Logan are all together and united with one common enemy: Park Sebastian, the king of fraternity douchebags.

With professional football scouts eyeing his every move, Mason Kade has to walk the line for the first time in his life. Any move he makes against Sebastian has to be perfect and under the radar. One mistake, and his career is over.

Sebastian has other plans. Mason’s career isn’t his target—not even close. Wanting to destroy Mason completely, Sebastian knows he must hit him where it hurts the most: Samantha, who doesn’t give a rat’s ass that she’s the target.

Sam is bound and determined to protect Mason herself, no matter the cost, but what if the cost is beyond her imagination? What if this time, the villain wins?

Buy Links:
Amazon • Amazon UK • Barnes & Noble • Kobo • iBooks

Now here’s an excerpt from Fallen Crest University! ❤

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She was confident. She moved with purpose.

It hit me how much she changed from when she’d moved in with Analise. She’d lost everything. She hadn’t cared about anything, and she had been a badass because of it—striking out, not giving a shit. Logan and I took her in, and then she had something to lose—me. She got scared. She was pushed around by the girls and bullied by her own mother, and through all that crap, she’d still fought. She’d clawed her way back up, protecting and loving Logan and me at the same time.

Good god. I wanted to pull her on top of me. I wanted to lose myself in her.

When I sat on the couch, Sam had a knowing grin, and she sat right where I wanted her, right where maybe she shouldn’t have. My hands held her hips as she straddled me. She looped her arms around my neck and rested her forehead to mine.

Her grin never dimmed, not even as she teased, “Why do I feel like we’re in high school, and I don’t want my mom to catch us making out in the basement?”

Shit, I love this woman.

A smooth and lazy low laugh flitted from her lips. I waited for her to find my mouth with hers, but she didn’t.

She held back and her eyes traced over my face. “What happened today?”

I wasn’t going to tell her. More time. I needed more time.

Reading Order: Fallen Crest series

Mason by Tijan Fallen Crest High by Tijan Fallen Crest Family by Tijan
Fallen Crest Public by Tijan Fallen Fourth Down by Tijan Fallen Crest University by Tijan

#0.5 ~ Mason: EbookPaperbackGoodreads
#1 ~ Fallen Crest High: EbookPaperback • AudibleGoodreads
#2 ~ Fallen Crest Family: EbookPaperback • AudibleGoodreads
#3 ~ Fallen Crest Public: EbookPaperback • AudibleGoodreads
#4 ~ Fallen Fourth Down: EbookPaperback • AudibleGoodreads
#5 ~ Fallen Crest University: EbookPaperback • Goodreads

about the author button

TijanI didn’t begin writing until after undergraduate college. There’d been storylines and characters in my head all my life, but it came to a boiling point one day and I HAD to get them out of me. So the computer was booted up and I FINALLY felt it click. Writing is what I needed to do. After that, I had to teach myself how to write. I can’t blame my teachers for not teaching me all those years in school. It was my fault. I was one of the students that was wishing I was anywhere but at school! So after that day, it took me lots of work until I was able to put together something that resembled a novel. I’m hoping I got it right since someone must be reading this profile! And I hope you keep enjoying my future stories.

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Blog Tour + Excerpt & Giveaway: Find Me by Laurelin Paige

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Find Me, the second and final book in the Found Duet series by Laurelin Paige, is out now!

Find Me by Laurelin Paige

Find Me by Laurelin Paige
Series: The Found Duet #2 (full reading order below)
Publication Date: August 25th 2015
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Gwen Anders came to The Sky Launch to begin fresh, away from the horrors of her past. She fit in quickly, becoming good friends with her co-manager, Alayna Withers and the owner of the club, Hudson Pierce. Though the circumstances that brought her here were not the best, she’s never felt more at home.

But starting a new life means letting go. And there are some things she doesn’t want to leave behind – like JC, the man who taught her how to let loose. The man she wasn’t supposed to fall in love with. The man she doesn’t want to lose.

Now, with the reason she ran still a threat, Gwen fears she’ll never be able to move on completely. And if she does, can she still hold out hope that JC loves her enough to come and find her?

Buy Links:
Amazon • Amazon UK • Barnes & NobleiBooks

Now here’s an excerpt from Find Me! ❤

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I grabbed my cell and checked the time. It was six-twenty-nine. I threw it in my purse and turned back to the mirror to give myself a pep talk. “We will not have sex. We will not have sex. We will not have sex.”

Jesus, I was so horny already, and I hadn’t even seen him yet. I’d thought about taking care of myself before JC got there but wasn’t sure if that would make things better or worse. By the time I’d decided it would make it better, Ben was there, and now JC was ringing my buzzer.

“You look incredible,” he said when I opened the door.

I blushed as I gave him a onceover. He was dressed in khakis with a fitted shirt and a lightweight jacket. Lots of buttons, I thought. Which was a good thing, considering how damn good he looked. Had he always been that buff? “You do, too.” My thighs felt hot. Good thing I’d changed out of my pants.

I really should have pulled out my vibrator earlier.

“You brought flowers?” I’d been so taken by him I hadn’t noticed the small bouquet in his hands. Three red roses dressed with some smaller white bell-shaped flowers I couldn’t identify were wrapped in a red ribbon. I hadn’t expected it. “I didn’t know you were the kind of guy who brought girls roses.”

He shrugged with one shoulder. “I’m trying to impress you. I have a feeling this date is a test of some kind, and I want to make sure I pass.”

“Not a test,” I said dismissively. Though, wasn’t that what this was? A test to see if we got along as well outside the bedroom as we did inside? “But thank you. You do impress.”

I shifted my weight to one hip and flitted my glance between JC, still standing on the other side of the threshold, and the flowers in my hand. “I should put these in water.” But I wasn’t sure I was ready to invite him in. Because in meant we’d be closer to my bed. And my couch. And my kitchen counter. All of which were locations that could be tempting.

Really, I just shouldn’t be anywhere alone with him.

Either JC felt the same way I did or he could read my mind. “You can do that later. The plastic containers on the stems should last until we get back. And we should get going.”

“Perfect.” I set them on the console table behind me, relieved and nervous all at once. I took a deep breath, grabbed my purse, and turned back to him. “Let’s go!”

In the hallway, he offered me his hand. I took it, then, there it was—the shock of his touch as his fingers weaved with mine. I let out an involuntary sigh, and with it bricks of tension fell from my body. Release. It shuddered through me as electricity sparked up my limb from where we were connected and spread throughout my body, and I wondered if this was what it felt like to melt. What it felt like to be frozen for so long and then, finally, to have the sun brush against cold ice, transforming it into something more fluid, something entirely different.

I glanced down to where we were joined, so overcome by how right it felt to be touching him in this simple way. When I looked back at him, I found his eyes pinned on me. His expression said he’d felt it too.

“You messed up, you know,” he said, as we started toward the elevator. “You were supposed to wear something that I didn’t want to rip off of you.”

My cheeks heated—actually, I wasn’t sure they’d ever cooled from the first blush he’d caused. “You said it would be impossible for me to wear anything that wouldn’t elicit that response. The only other choice was to go naked.”

“That would have been an excellent choice.”

“But not very practical.”

“I’ve never been a fan of practical.” He pushed the call button and the elevator doors opened immediately, the car likely still there from when he’d arrived.

We stepped inside, our hands still molded together. The doors closed, and I so badly wanted to turn and kiss him.

Instead I delivered the short speech I’d practiced since I’d woken up that afternoon. “I think I should tell you, I don’t have sex on first dates.”

“Wow. That’s…surprising. Considering we had sex before we’d ever even been on a date.” He squeezed my hand. “But, after you left me with blue balls this morning, I already figured out you’d turned into a prude.”

I laughed. “I’m not a prude. I’m cautious. And that’s nothing new. That’s always been me.”

“Yes, it has.” The short phrase was full of subtext, and I knew he was remembering how uptight I’d been when we’d first met. Icy. Frigid bitch.

“I’m better than I was,” I assured him.

He nodded. “I know. Otherwise you wouldn’t have given me even this much of you. And if you want to wait, then I can too.”

What I wanted was to push him against the wall and devour him.

But that was an in-the-moment want, and long-term, I wanted a relationship that was real and lasting. “Thank you. It means a lot.”

He leaned in close and, though we were alone, whispered in my ear. “I’m not going to say that I’m not dying to have you under me, Gwen. Because I am. But I’m dying to just be with you more.”

Despite the descent of the elevator, his words sent me floating. “You’re really good at that impressing thing.”

He gave me my favorite grin. “Who knew?”

Reading Order: The Found Duet series

Free Me by Laurelin Paige Find Me by Laurelin Paige
 

#1 ~ Free Me: EbookPaperback • AudibleGoodreads
#2 ~ Find Me: Ebook • Paperback • Goodreads

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Laurelin PaigeLaurelin Paige is the NY Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestselling Author of the Fixed Trilogy. She’s a sucker for a good romance and gets giddy anytime there’s kissing, much to the embarrassment of her three daughters. Her husband doesn’t seem to complain, however. When she isn’t reading or writing sexy stories, she’s probably singing, watching Game of Thrones and the Walking Dead, or dreaming of Michael Fassbender. She’s also a proud member of Mensa International though she doesn’t do anything with the organization except use it as material for her bio.

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Blog Tour + Excerpt & Giveaway: Bounce by Noelle August

Happy Release Day to Noelle August – Bounce (Boomerang #3) is now available!
Check out an excerpt and series giveaway below!

Bounce by Noelle August

Bounce by Noelle August
Series: Boomerang #3 (full reading order below)
Publication Date: August 25th 2015
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This final chapter in the fun and steamy New Adult trilogy by Noelle August (authors Veronica Rossi and Lorin Oberweger) features two aspiring musicians who must choose between their careers…and their sizzling attraction for each other.

Playing the occasional club gig just isn’t cutting it for twenty-two-year-old cellist Skyler Canby, who’s trying to support herself and her mother back home in Kentucky. Persuaded by her best friend Beth to accompany her on an audition for the first feature film launched by Blackwood Entertainment, she figures why not? Beth’s a shoe-in for the lead, but maybe Skyler’s newly dyed pink hair will help her stand out enough to score a small speaking part.

Never in her wildest dreams does Skyler imagine she’ll land the lead role or that she’ll have her shoes knocked off her feet by the kiss her audition partner, Grey Blackwood, plants on her—a kiss that feels very real and not at all “acted.”

After throwing a party that causes thousands of dollars of damage to his older brother’s home, reckless musician Grey Blackwood gets roped into working off his debt on the set of his CEO brother’s newest project. Grey spends his days fetching coffee and doing odd jobs around the studio, but he lives for nights when he performs with his band. He knows if he can stay focused, success as a singer is just around the corner. But that’s tough with a distracting pink-haired girl occupying his every waking thought.

Skyler and Grey have every reason to resist each other. But, like a song neither of them can get out of their minds, they have no choice but to go where the music takes them.

Buy Links:
Amazon • Barnes & Noble • HarperCollins • iTunes

Now here’s an excerpt from Bounce! ❤

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BOUNCE
—a Boomerang novel—
By Noelle August

Two aspiring musicians must choose between their careers…and their sizzling attraction for each other in the final Boomerang novel.

Skyler’s Point-of-View

Chapter 20

Good lord in a basket, it’s him all right. Grey. Illuminated by the golden lights coming on along Venice Boulevard. With suds and water sluicing off his ridiculously ripped body, cascading from his massive tattooed biceps, running down his taut muscled abdomen. His swimsuit sags dangerously low, clinging to his sturdy thighs, making, um, everything, pretty evident.

And evidently pretty impressive.

Probably, this would be a good time to actually speak some words, but even in a town full of hot, hot people, this is kind of stratospheric.

“Yep, it’s me.” Grey reaches back to turn off the shower, which breaks the spell, so I can at least avert my gaze like a decent person. Then he rubs a towel vigorously over his gleaming body and tucks it around his waist.

He has a strange look on his face—peevish, embarrassed, and it feels suddenly like we’re intruding on something. Or maybe it’s just me. I think about that moment in my trailer. His fingers on my skin. My wanting and not knowing what to want.

“Uh, so, what are you up to?” I ask in an effort to win the prize for most obvious question ever. “I mean, I can see what you were up to.” Seriously, Sky? “But, uh, were you just in the water? What brings you out here?”

“I’m crashing nearby. At the garage where my band rehearses.”

“Really?” asks Mia. “Why?”

Grey looks from me to Mia and then back to me, weighing something. Maybe whether or not he can trust us. He’s got this hot, coiled energy all the time, like he’s always holding back. Like he’s an animal caged inside a human body.

“Just staying there for a few weeks.”

“Because of your mom?” I ask. It was obvious from their interaction on set that there’s some bad blood there, though compared to my mom, she seems kind and thoughtful, whip-smart and curious without being overbearing. Which makes sense, given her offspring.

Then I remember that Grey’s not really her offspring. He said “stepmother,” and the way he said it really answers my question.

Which is good, because he doesn’t actually answer it. Instead, he gathers up his stuff—surfboard, wetsuit—and gives us a grin. “I gotta head out,” he says, as though nothing’s hanging there between us. He looks away for a second, following the path of a guy in an Obama mask as he weaves his way up the boardwalk on a ribbon-festooned unicycle. “Told some friends I’d hook up with them tonight.”

“Wait,” says Mia. “So, you’re just sleeping in a garage? Like on an air-mattress or something?”

Grey shrugs. “A couch. It’s okay.”

“And taking freezing cold showers out on the beach? That doesn’t sound great, does it, Sky?”

“No, it doesn’t,” I say, but I’m afraid of where she’s going with this.

“Can’t you stay at a hotel or something?”

He shakes his head. “Money’s a little tight right now. I’m giving Adam almost every penny to pay him back for the house, and I don’t really have…” Again, he goes silent, and I can feel, literally, the tension of him wanting to talk, wanting to say more to someone. Needing it.

“Why don’t you come stay at our place?” Mia blurts. We have that in common. The blurting thing. “I mean, I’m just about all moved out, so there’s room.”

Ay, dios. No. No.

But I can’t say anything. I can’t tell my best friend, who knows I’m talking to Brooks, starting to maybe, sort of, think about where that could go, that having Grey in my apartment, so close all the time, is a very dangerous, very bad idea.

Grey shakes his head. “Nah, I appreciate it, but I’m cool here. I promise. Thanks, though.” He takes a few steps toward a squat gray building with weather-beaten shutters and a tiny, shed-like garage in the back. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Hang on,” says Mia, pulling me along. She gives me a look, tipping her head in his direction, like she’s tapping me in for the debate. “You’re cool with it, right, Sky?”

“Of course.” Not. In no way. “But it seems like he’s got it under control here. So, if—”

My words disappear, though, because Grey’s pulled up the garage door, the muscles of his broad back and shoulders shifting smoothly as he thrusts the door up along its rusting track.

“See?” he says, pointing to a lumpy white couch sporting what looks like a half-century’s worth of mystery stains—a perfect complement to the funk of beer and weed and sweat potent enough to make my eyes water. “Perfectly fine, right?”

But, like me, he’s lousy at hiding his feelings. Even turned away to shove some empty beer cans into a garbage bag, his body language tells me everything.

He doesn’t want to be here in this musty space, crowded with furniture and audio equipment, the only natural light coming in from the tiny half-moon windows set into the garage door, which faces a dim alleyway.

“You should come stay with us,” I say, surprising the hell out of us both. “I mean, this is…”

“It’s fine,” Grey insists. “I don’t need much, and I’m hardly ever here.”

I think how different he is from Brooks, who says what he means, tells you—without hesitation—what he wants.

“Come on,” says Mia.

“Seriously,” he tells us. “It’s really nice of you to ask, but I’m fine. I can’t afford—”

“I paid up on the place through the end of the lease,” Mia says. “You can just chip in on food and utilities. I’m sure you can manage that, right? It’s only for a few weeks. And you’d be rooming with two awesome, super hot girls. How can you say no to that?”

He looks at me, and I can see he’s worried about the same things I am. Rooming together. Being too close, constantly one second away from making a really dumb choice. He’s young and too reckless for me. And a musician, on top of it all. He’s everything I don’t need sharing my space.

But something tugs at me, makes me put all of those concerns aside. I see it in his smoke-gray eyes, which are so alive, so deep and full of thoughts. Some pain or fear lives there. Something that makes it so hard for him to accept. To take a simple kindness. It’s not just about me but about trusting. Anything.

Seeing that, I can’t let him spend another night in this crappy place. Just…alone.

“You should come home with us,” I say. “It will be…a lot better than this, I promise.”

Reading Order: Boomerang series

Boomerang by Noelle August Rebound by Noelle August Bounce by Noelle August

#1 ~ Boomerang: EbookPaperback • AudibleGoodreads
#2 ~ Rebound: EbookPaperbackAudibleGoodreads
#3 ~ Bounce: EbookPaperbackAudible • Goodreads

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Question: What do you get when friends pen a story with heart, plenty of laughs, and toe-curling kissing scenes? AnswerNoelle August, the pseudonym for renowned editor and award-winning writer Lorin Oberweger and New York Times bestselling YA author Veronica Rossi, the masterminds behind the Boomerang series. You can visit them at NoelleAugust.com, @Noelle_August, and facebook.com/NoelleAugustBooks.

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Review Tour + Giveaway: In the Dark by Monica Murphy

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Welcome to today’s stop on the blog tour for In the Dark by Monica Murphy!

In the Dark by Monica Murphy

In the Dark by Monica Murphy
Series: The Rules #2 (full reading order below)
Publication Date: August 25th 2015
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The girl next door isn’t what she seems…

Stuck spending the summer with his screwed up family, Gabriel Walker is bored out of his mind and looking for an adventure. And he seems to find it with the hot girl who lives next door. The attraction between them is instant. Electric. Soon they’re spending every stolen minute together. Talk about the perfect summer fling…

Lucy isn’t what she seems. She doesn’t live next door—she’s the girl who’s been hired to house sit for the summer while the family goes on a worldwide vacation. If Gabe wants to believe she’s a spoiled rich girl looking for some fun, she can go along with that. After the summer, she’ll never see him again.

They don’t count on running into each other at college. Now Lucy must keep up the pretense of being a rich girl—and it’s exhausting. She knows she’s falling in love with Gabe and she’s scared he feels the same. Will he still care about her when he discovers the truth?

Buy Links:
Amazon • Amazon UK • Amazon CA • iTunes

I am seriously enjoying Monica Murphy’s The Rules series! I really liked the first book, Fair Game, and I’m glad to say I had a fun time reading In the Dark as well. This is Gabe’s book – the rich, pretty-boy player of the trio of heroes this series is about. Seeing him fall hard for a girl was as sweet as it was sexy. Fans of the first book won’t want to miss this sequel!

Gabe is spending the summer with his family at their vacation house, and he’d rather be anywhere but there. Luckily, there’s a cute neighbor he can’t help but admire every time she comes into view. Gabe is the love-em-and-leave-em type of guy, but he’d give anything for a chance with the girl next door.

I’m not that girl. I’m cautious. Careful. I plot and plan and do what I’m supposed to. I don’t make waves and I don’t cause trouble. One look form Gabe and I want to cause all sorts of trouble.
But only with him.

Lucy has totally noticed the hot, rich boy next door, but she’s not the type of girl to be with any guy. Her mother had her when she was young and instilled the fear of god – aka teenage pregnancy – into Lucy. But when Gabe finally introduces himself, Lucy can’t ignore the serious chemistry between them. But he thinks she has money like him, when in fact she’s not so rich and only house-sitting for a rich couple. She can’t help but go along that ruse, especially since they both agree to have a summer-only fling. And things get seriously HOT between them once their fling begins. Monica Murphy knows how to heat up the pages and I loved how intensely she brought out the sexy and dirty in Gabe and Lucy.

“I get too caught up in you. Every single time we’re together.” He shifts away from me so he can stare down into my eyes. “It’s like you’re the only thing I focus on when I’m with you, Luce. Hell, even when I’m not with you, you consume my thoughts. It’s… wild.”

As Lucy and Gabe spend the rest of summer together, they form a connection. They don’t want to leave each other by the time summer ends but they have no choice. Except, they never expected to see each other again when school starts up. Gabe now wants more between them, but Lucy is still keeping secrets from him. What happens when she wants him but her secrets come out?

I loved seeing Gabe change his manwhoring ways. Lucy was a great heroine who I thought matched well with his character. They’re both charming and relatable characters, so it was easy to enjoy their story. Plus, it’s a hot read – Monica Murphy can’t not write a sexy book! The only complaint I have is that the story sometimes felt too slow. I wanted the book to pick up the pace sometimes, to get to when Gabe finally finds out the truth about Lucy. Other than that, this is another fantastic read from an author I adore! I’m incredibly excited for Tristan’s story now!

4 hearts
lacey

Quotes are taken from the arc and are subject to change in the final version.

Reading Order: The Rules series

Fair Game by Monica Murphy In the Dark by Monica Murphy Slow Play by Monica Murphy

#1 ~ Fair Game: My Review • Ebook • Paperback • Audible • Goodreads
#2 ~ In the Dark: Ebook • Paperback • Audible • Goodreads
#3 ~ Slow Play: My Review • Ebook • Paperback • Goodreads

about the author button

Karen EricksonNew York Times, USA Today and international bestselling author Monica Murphy is a native Californian who lives in the foothills below Yosemite with her husband and three children. She’s a workaholic who loves her job. When she’s not busy writing, she also loves to read and travel with her family. She writes new adult and contemporary romance and is published with Bantam and Avon. She also writes romance as USA Today bestselling author Karen Erickson.

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Blog Tour + Excerpt & Giveaway: Before We Were Strangers by Renée Carlino

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Before We Were Strangers by Renée Carlino is now available! Check out my review for it here.

Before We Were Strangers by Renee Carlino

Before We Were Strangers by Renée Carlino
Series: Standalone
Publication Date: August 18th 2015
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From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Sweet Thing and Nowhere But Here comes a love story about a Craigslist “missed connection” post that gives two people a second chance at love fifteen years after they were separated in New York City.

To the Green-eyed Lovebird:

We met fifteen years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House.

You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more.

We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other.

Yet, somehow, it all fell apart. We lost touch the summer after graduation when I went to South America to work for National Geographic. When I came back, you were gone. A part of me still wonders if I pushed you too hard after the wedding…

I didn’t see you again until a month ago. It was a Wednesday. You were rocking back on your heels, balancing on that thick yellow line that runs along the subway platform, waiting for the F train. I didn’t know it was you until it was too late, and then you were gone. Again. You said my name; I saw it on your lips. I tried to will the train to stop, just so I could say hello.

After seeing you, all of the youthful feelings and memories came flooding back to me, and now I’ve spent the better part of a month wondering what your life is like. I might be totally out of my mind, but would you like to get a drink with me and catch up on the last decade and a half?

M

Buy Links:
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Now here’s an excerpt from Before We Were Strangers! ❤

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2. Five Days After I Saw You

MATT

I took the damn F train, an hour-long ride to Brooklyn from Midtown and back every day, at lunch, hoping I would run into Grace again, but I never did.

Things were bad at work. I had submitted a request to go into the field three months earlier but had been denied. Now I had to watch Elizabeth and Brad walk around in bliss as people congratulated them on the baby and Brad’s promotion, which came right after the announcement.

Meanwhile, I was still rejecting any forward motion in my life. I was a stagnant puddle of shit. I had volunteered to go back on location to South America with a National Geographic film crew. New York just wasn’t the same anymore. It held no magic for me. The Amazonian jungle, with all of its wonderful and exotic diseases, seemed more appealing than taking orders from my ex-wife and her smug husband. But my request hadn’t been approved or denied. It just sat in a pile of other requests on Scott’s desk.

I pondered the current state of my life while I stared at a blank wall in the office break room. Standing next to the water cooler, holding a half-empty paper cone, I tallied the insubstantial years I had spent with Elizabeth and wondered why. How had things gone so terribly wrong?

“What are you doin’, man?” Scott’s voice came from the doorway.

I turned and smiled. “Just thinking.”

”You seem a little brighter.”

“Actually, I was thinking about how I ended up thirty­six, divorced, and trapped in cubicle hell.”

He walked to the coffeepot and poured a mug full then leaned against the counter. “You were a workaholic?” he offered.

“That’s not why Elizabeth was unfaithful. She fell right into Brad’s skinny arms, and he works more than I do. Hell, Elizabeth works more than I do.”

“Why are you dwelling on the past? Look at you. You’re tall. You have hair. And it looks like”—he waved his hand around at my stomach—”you might have abs?”

”You checking me out?”

”I’d kill for a head of hair like that.”

Scott was the kind of guy who was bald by twenty-two. He’s been shaving it Mr. Clean-style since then.

“What do women call that thing?” He pointed to the back of my head.

“A bun?”

“No, there’s, like, a sexier name for it. The ladies love that shit.”

“They call it a man-bun.”

He studied me. “Jesus, you’re a free man, Matt. Why aren’t you prowling the savannahs for new game? I can’t watch you mope around like this. I thought you were over Elizabeth?”

I shut the break-room door. “I am. I was over Elizabeth a long time ago. It’s hard for me even to remember being into her. I got caught up in the fantasy of it, traveling with her, taking photos. Something was always missing, though. Maybe I did work too much. I mean, that’s all we talked about, that’s all we had in common. Now look where I am.”

“What about Subway Girl?”

“What about her?”

“I don’t know. I thought you were gonna try to get in touch with her?”

“Yeah. Maybe. Easier said than done.”

“You just have to put yourself out there. Get on social media.”

Will I find Grace there? I went back and forth between wanting to do everything I could to find her and feeling like it was totally pointless. She’d be with someone. She’d be someone’s wife. Someone better than me. I wanted to get away from everything reminding me that I still had nothing.

“If you care so much, why haven’t you approved my request?” I asked.

He scowled. I noticed how deep the line was between his eyebrows and it occurred to me that Scott and I were the same age…and he was getting old. “I don’t mean the actual savannahs, man. Running away isn’t going to solve your problems.”

“Now you’re my shrink?”

“No, I’m your friend. Remember when you asked for that desk job?”

I walked toward the door. “Just consider it. Please, Scott.”

Right before I left the room he said, “You’re chasing the wrong thing. It’s not gonna make you happy.”

He was right, and I could admit that to myself, but not out loud. I thought if I could win an award again, get some recognition for my work, it would fill the black hole eating away at me. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t the solution.

After work, I sat on a bus bench just outside the National Geographic building. I watched hordes of people trying to get home, racing down the crowded sidewalks of Midtown. I wondered if I could judge how lonely a person was based on how much of a hurry he or she was in. No one who has someone waiting for him at home would sit on a bus bench after a ten-hour workday and people-watch. I always carried an old Pentax camera from my college days in my messenger bag, but I hadn’t used it in years.

I removed it from the case and starting clicking away as people flooded in and out of the subway, as they waited for buses, as they hailed cabs. I hoped that through the lens I would see her again, like I had years before. Her vibrant spirit; the way she could color a black-and-white photo with her magnetism alone. I had thought about Grace often over the years. Something as simple as a smell, like sugared pancakes at night, or the sound of a cello in Grand Central or Washington Square Park on a warm day, could transport me right back to that year in college. The year I spent falling in love with her.

It was hard for me to see the beauty in New York anymore. Granted, much of the riffraff and grit was gone, at least in the East Village; it was cleaner and greener now, but that palpable energy I had felt in college was gone, too. For me, anyway.

Time passes, life goes on, places change, people change. And still, I couldn’t get Grace off my mind after seeing her in the subway. Fifteen years is too long to be holding on to a few heart-pounding moments from college.

about the author button

Renee CarlinoRenée Carlino is a screenwriter and bestselling author of romantic women’s novels. She lives in Southern California with her husband, two sons, and their sweet dog June. When she’s not at the beach with her boys or working on her next project, she likes to spend her time reading, going to concerts, and eating dark chocolate.

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